Saturday, October 4, 2008


I previously wrote that God had placed a woman named Carolyn in my path, she was used to help me see truth and to start me on my path out of the abusive relationship I was in with the Assembly of God Churches, being used as a tool to "convert" homosexuals. God also used Sarah Palin to help me finally start to let others hear Niall's Voice. God has definitely used women, as a way of moving me into action, in ways I would nor could ever imagine. As much as I may not agree with Sarah Palin or her beliefs, He uses her again to make me speak out. She once again says that Amercians should not apologize for their actions, this is not the Christ-like behavior Jesus taught. She claims to be a Faith based person, yet when she was in the debate, she was asked a question, which one it does not matter, but she replied she wasn't going to answer the questions the moderator asked, or the one's her opponent asked. Well basically she was saying that she was not going to follow the rules, the rules she knew going into the debate. God, at least the God she proclaims to follow and believe in, says in "Her" Bible, when in Rome, do as the Romans do, basically honor the place you are in, and go by their rules. She didn't. So what does this have to do with anything, because Niall's Voice is about more than politics, or one politican, but I bring it up because we, the American audience had to TOLERATE her disrespect for us and the political process she joined. With all her shucks, yucks, ya'lls, winks (scary if you ask me) and her supposed Hockey Mom, Main Street, Joe Six Pack, baloney, she lied and wanted us to believe her, but we had to Tolerate her for 90 minutes or pretty much turn off the TV. I guess we were to do as she does, she clearly stated that she is all for tolerance. She tolerates gays and lesbians, and their chosen life style. She made that pit bull (no lipstick) in me come out. How dare her, or anyone say they tolerate me. The very definition of tolerance is to allow to be or to be done without prohibition, hindrance, or contradiction; to put up with. I had been told since childhood that I would be tolerated at times, in a good old fashioned Catholic school, I was tolerated, in many family situations I was only tolerated, during my drinking and drugging days I was tolerated (thank you to those who didn't give up on me, and did tolerate my behavior). I was not tolerated many times because I was not "a normal" little boy, I was a "sissy", like a girl, I had feelings that were not normal. I didn't want to get beat up any more than was physically tolerable, so I guess being tolerated became acceptable to me. When a woman who is running for the second highest office in the country states that she tolerates gays and lesbians, and will not even mention bisexuals or transgenders, I will not tolerate that. See once again God placed a woman in my path to get me moving. I was going to use the term, the second leader in the Free World, but that makes it sound like we are the leaders of the world, we may be powerful, but I think our actions have shown that we have lost that "leader position" in so many different areas. I realize that so much of the world is only tolerating us, and our behavior. I was a young boy who lived in a world that being tolerated was mistaken by me for being accepted. I was not accepted and barely tolerated for who I was, for who God made me to be, so sorry Sarah, not who I choose to be. It is so hard to tolerate so many people these days, but when I think that God has a plan, and I accept that, I have to accept ALL of that, and I have to react as God would want me to, not as the Neil who wants revenge would. I placed an Obama/Biden placard-poster in my apartment window, showing my support, another way I was letting people hear Niall's Voice, well 2 days later my next door neighbor put a McCain/Palin placard on their window. Their's had an American flag above it, the insecure me said, see they think "they" are the real Americans, at least they think they are, and in my insecure, coming from the hurt little boy place, this was war, should I break their window, egg their door, can you say drama? I said a prayer and laughed, see this is what is so great about this country, we can show our differences, we can debate, we can have our own beliefs, and we can even tolerate our neighbors no matter how wrong they are (kidding!!). You see, like I said, God has a plan, He used Niall's Voice to give me the courage to even place an opinion out there on the window, or on the blog here, and has taught me that it is OK to be different. Tolerance is not always a bad thing, it is only bad when a person uses it in a statement that means they put up with that part of me that loves a person of the same sex. They obviously look down on me, think I am not normal, an abomination to some extent. Jesus didn't teach tolerance, He taught to love one another as you would love yourself and God. To not judge others, unless you want to be judged, ten times that amount. So I am praying tonight for people who are so ignorant that they would in one sentence claim to be a Christian, then follow it with such a judgmental statement saying they tolerate gays and lesbians. God does not create humans, in His image no less, that another has the right to tolerate, but I will leave that part up to God, and those people to deal with, it is too big for me to handle. See I know He accepts me for who I am, today, for who I was when I was a drunk and an addict, and for who I will be tomorrow, and he loves me unconditionally all the time, just like He loves Sarah Palin unconditionally. God does not tolerate us, he just loves us. He keeps putting people in my path to show me just how much he does love me, I may get riled up first, but then I remember, Look up to Him, look in to myself, and then use Niall's Voice to share his unconditional love.


jeannerockaway said...

You touch me. Where it counts, in my soul. Your writings are getting better, bolder, without dismissiveness or accusation. I think you walk a fine line between your opinion, and the truth as you know it, without insisting others should give up their beliefs. Your morals regarding good and bad; re: tolerance/intolerance, is, to this reader, on target.

Todd HellsKitchen said...